I have had a revelation. I am not just an avid Austin Eagle but actually a modern day Martin Luther King. MLK had a dream. I have a dream. He dreamt of glory for black. I dream of glory for red and blue. He led a mighty army of African Americans against the tyranny of evil white men. I will lead a mighty army of Austin Eagles against the tyranny of evil red and white men when Crystal Palace play Manchester United this Saturday in the final of the FA Cup. And finally, he died after being shot in the mouth. I will feel like dying after having lots of shots in my mouth. It's uncanny I know.
It's dreamtime my Austin Eagles. It is not an exaggeration to say that I have fantasized about this moment for 26 years. It was way back in 1990 when we last came this close to getting our hands on the FA Cup. We lost that game and I have rued that chance to win ever since. We now have that chance again and of course it's against the same team...the evil, the hated, the loathsome Mancunian Red Devils.
I am more excited than a dog with two dicks, and two tongues, and two bones. I can't sit still I am so excited. I have red and blue ants in my red and blue pants. This Saturday I may be more drunk than you have ever seen me. Remember that time I bucked Buck tugging on his blankie while half asleep. Yep, more drunk than that. Remember that time two weeks after meeting Heather when I fell and got stuck in a dirty clothes basket looking distinctly like a turtle flipped on its back. Yep, more drunk than that.
My dream for this weekend is not only to win this game but to have all my friends dressed in red and blue cheering alongside me. I dream of drowning out the tedious sounds and pathetic chants of United fans at Fado. I dream of hearing these pitiful peons announce how they can't believe how many Eagles there are. And believe me when I say that there will be plenty of the glory supporting fools present so we will need to be in full voice. I shall be turning the ripe old age of 40 the following weekend and I can think of nothing better than seeing Palace fans outnumber United fans at Fado. THAT IS MY DREAM.
I am not to proud to beg my friends. If you have a spare two hours next Saturday then don your red and blue and join me and the Austin Eagles at Fado to finally take what is ours. The game starts at 11.30am but the festivities may last into the night.
This was from the the last game of the season last year. Let's make this year even better.
To get yourself primed and ready, take a glimpse at the unofficial but rather catchy song below made just for this final by some fellow feathered fans.