Is it just me or is watching Crystal Palace on NBC now a bit like smoking really manky Meth? It is just me? Huh. Ok. Well let me explain my thoughts.
A while back you considered trying Crystal but suspected it would mess with your family life. You do know a guy who supports this habit and to be honest he seems pretty normal. Each week this addict emails everyone he knows effusing about the ecstasy you get when you score. Little by little you see your pals succumb to this addiction ignoring their spouse's pleas to stop. You know you shouldn't join in and are thankful that you have just enough will power to say no. But along comes a greedy provider. Sneakily, it tempts you by offering Premier Crystal for free. They promise to deal you their wares whenever and wherever you want and never to charge you more than you already spend on entertainment. How can you say no? All your friends are doing it. What's the worst that can happen, right?
Two years later you are properly hooked on Crystal. It has all been so easy and so cheap. Any time you need it you can just pick up the phone and dial it up. You know it's ruling your life but those fleeting highs are oh so good. You love your provider. You are never left wanting. You brag to all those who can't access your amazing provider, even those from the land where your Crystal originates. You know that as long as things never change then life will be sweet. But then it happens. The provider hands you off to his evil counterpart who bends you over and does you up the Arsenal. The Crystal that you know and love is now expensive, hard to get and worst of all it's half as good as before. They know you're hooked and there is nothing you can do about it. You just take it like a sucker because what else are you going to do.
Footnote. NBC is now charging to watch English Premier League on its new channel NBC Gold. It costs $50 for the season. Of course all the headlining teams are still free on regular NBC but minnows like Crystal Palace have been cast aside. You can only stream the games which means you can't record those classic wins and watch them again and again.
Of course, I have already bought NBC Gold and will be stuffing my proverbial glass pipe as full as I can of this new, yet rather inferior Crystal. The show must go on.
Extra footnote. We lost 3-0 to new boys Huddersfield last weekend. Say no more.
Smoke it while you got it my friends.