I watched a bird die once. I thought I could save it. But some things are too broken to fix.
I was 10 years old. The tiny starling had been hit by a car, breaking its left wing and both its legs. I found it flapping around in circles on our garage floor, scared to death. My dad and I took it to a vet who lived nearby. I thought we were going to give it little bandages and nurture it back to health. The vet took one look at the battered creature, stuck it in a bag and firmly whacked it against a wall killing it instantly. I was distraught, but it was on that day I realized that some things need to be put out of their misery. It is just to damn painful to watch them struggle.
If any of you have witnessed the last seven Crystal Palace league games than I think you know where I am going with this. We have lost every game without even scoring one solitary goal. No professional football team has EVER sucked this badly, fact. If I had a bag big enough to fit 11 manly dudes then I believe that vet might smash them against a wall. I am of course not condoning this course of action. All I am saying is that if there was a mercy killing formula then our Eagles might be in a spot of bother.
I haven’t watched a game for three weeks now. I can’t bring myself to do it. I know I am supposed to support through thick and thin but there is a limit to my thin. Especially if I can go see my daughters play instead and watch Wilma score the winning goal which actually happened.
On the bright side, imagine what will happen we that first goal goes in. Everyone is going to shit themselves, in a good way. We have 31 more games to go. Surely we have to score, right?