Austin Eagles vs Barcelona next season

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Austin Eagles vs Barcelona next season

Finally we have achieved our rightful position in the Premier League. Fourth. Above Spurs, Arsenal, United and Chelsea. Now all we have to do is hang on to that for another 34 games and Europe here we come. If that actually happens I will personally buy you all tickets to Palace vs Barcelona.

Another solid performance against Aston Villa. We may have been a tad fortunate at the end there but as the old cliche goes “you make your own luck” and we made a Grealish sized leprechaun complete with pot of gold, four leaf clover and lucky foot. It is about time we get a few decisions running out way.

Tottenham in two weeks. They aren’t playing well and are disjointed right now. Could be another scalp for the Austin Eagles.

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Austin Eagles have finally done it

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Austin Eagles have finally done it

I truly never thought that would happen. It seemed like Man U were the bogey team we would never beat. They always seemed to get us at the end of games. And finally we got them instead. Interesting fact, Patrick Van Aanholt is the only Premier League player to ever score an injury time winner against United at Old Trafford. Ha.

To those who came down Saturday I thank you. What an atmosphere out little band can create. It was very amusing to watch the half naked volleyball players watch confused as red and blue clad men ran around the bar screaming. What a day!

And if the result wasn’t enough, it appears that our very own Austin Eagle William is up on the ways of the web and got us on the TV. See image attached. We were also on the NBC twitter page. We have finally hit the big time my friends.

Now what is the goal for the season? Don’t get relegated of course. Finished top half? Do the double on Brighton? And on Watford? That would all be sweet. Which of those would you take first. Rather surprisingly I think doing the double on Watford would give me a the most joy.

Time to move on from the United hex and get on with the season.

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Austin Eagles off and running

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Austin Eagles off and running

One point and a clean sheet against Everton will do for me. First half was a little sketchy but the second half was all Palace.

AWB has gone but Wilf still belongs. Tomkins and Sako missing but Kelly and Dann solid once more. Meyer looking dangerous and Andros doing his thing. We have depth to the squad. Now we just need Benteke to remember how to score and Wickham to stop getting injured and we may have a chance to challenge for top half.

Aussies was a big success with Palace outnumbering all other fans infinity to one. I have always loved to be a big fish in a small pond and there ain’t no smaller pond then that.

COYP

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Austin Eagles and the best PL season ever

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Austin Eagles and the best PL season ever

What a season that was. In true Palace style we finished strong to give us our best points total ever along with highest goal difference. We beat City away then Arsenal away for the first time in 25 years scoring three goals at each along with Anfield. We saw the true emergence of Aaron Wan Bissaka and the continued brilliance of Wilf. We had emotional goodbyes to club legends Julián Speroni and Jason Puncheon. And of course we aren’t Nazi’s because we don’t know what that is.

It wasn’t just on the pitch where we saw growth. Our own Austin Eagles became a force to be reckoned with in the Austin soccer fan club scene. It was only a few years ago that I would get giddy at the sight of a Palace shirt in Austin. Now it’s commonplace for a new face to wander hopefully into our welcoming bosom. We have a solid core of fans each week along with an impressive number of followers eager to join.

We progressed, and I do mean progressed, from Fado to BD Rileys to Darcy’s Donkey where we are now favored fans. My highlight of the season was when bar manager Neville told a wayward West Ham fan to go pack sand when he asked to change the front TVs away from our game. “This is a Palace bar”, said Neville. Even saying this causes my pee pee to tingle a little. Now they are framing a palace shirt to hang in the bar for the start of the new season. I love that place.

These are truly tremendous times to be a Palace fan my friends. There is no doubt that we have never had it better.

Don’t fret my eaglets, it’s only 90 days before it all starts again. Join me in crossing all digits in the hope that AWB and Wilf will still be there next season and for a top ten finish.

Thank you all for joining me in support and being awesome. I have enjoyed hanging with each and every one of you.

Until next time. But if you can’t wait till then, watch 61 Palace goals in 60 seconds.

https://youtu.be/goBFOfuPziU

Or if you are feeling like a little cry, watch Speroni’s emotional farewell speech.

https://youtu.be/H_dVMehpLP4

COYP

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Austin Eagles into the Quarters

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Austin Eagles into the Quarters

Do you know what I was wishing for on Monday?

I was wishing beyond all wishes to beat Millwall in the quarters finals of the FA Cup. Then to beat Brighton in the semis. And then to hammer the scum Man U in the final. Every time I thought about this it made me all tingly. Of course, all wishes can’t come true. We got Watford. It wasn’t Millwall so I was sad for a second. Then I realized I really bloody hate Watford too. Probably more than Millwall. Now I am happy. I had a dream. It didn’t come true. Now I have a better dream.

When I close my eyes the first thing I see is Kayla the Eagle tearing the wings off of Harry the Hornet. Then I see our beloved mascot battling with seagulls with only one obvious winner. Lastly, I see her swooping down over Wembley, screeching loudly as Townsend does ten step overs and crosses it to the far post. I see Mamadou powerfully heading the ball back across the goal. And I see Wilf slamming a thunder bastard right past the static De Gea for our third and winning goal. I see Roy doing a Pardew jig on the touchline. I see all our fellow Eagle fans jubilant in the stands, finally having their FA cup glory moment against the scum. And lastly I see Benteke, looking a little clueless wondering why he hasn’t scored. There has to be some normality in every dream!

I want to win the FA cup so badly it hurts. Join me in my pain my friends. For it shall be glory one day!

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Austin Eagles’ biggest turnout watch first game win

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Austin Eagles’ biggest turnout watch first game win

Saturday 8.45am. First game of the new season. I’m standing on dirty Sixth Street in downtown Austin. Waiting for the doors to open to the Austin Eagles’ new stomping ground B.D. Riley’s. Alone. Wondering if I had just arranged for an entire bar to open just for me to watch Palace play Fulham. In the distance I see a person walking purposefully toward me in red and blue. Barcelona fan? Nope, nope, that’s Palace. He gets closer, arm in arm with a lady. I don’t recognize them. As soon as they are in loud shouting range I introduce myself and wonder how the hell they know to come here. “It’s all over Reddit and Twitter”, says Nick. Odd, I think to myself, considering I don’t actually know what Reddit is. A huge smile widens across my face as more Austin Eagles saunter eaglely toward me. Some of them familiar and some foreign. As I stand in wonder, the age-old wooden doors swing open behind me and the welcoming smells and sounds of an Irish bar with footy on the TV beckon us in. We tip toe excitedly inside, surveying our new haunt and deciding which stool we shall call our own for the next nine months. We are home!

It was an odd home though. Odd because it was ours. We weren’t sharing it with anyone. We weren’t stuck in a corner huddling around a tiny TV, sometimes without sound, surrounded by hoards of glory supporting Scousers or Mancs. We were the only fan club in there. Granted there were a couple of Chelsea and, impressively, one Stoke shirt, but they were the minority now. We were in charge here. The main TV is playing Palace as our West London foes are screened way in the back. Oh how delightful it was. At one point there were as many as 30 of us cheering our boys. I never thought I would see the day. What a proud Papa Eagle I was. And to think that only four months ago I thought the Austin Eagles may disband with our old home Fado shutting it’s doors for good.

Oh yeah and did I forget to say that we actually won the game too.

First game. Three points. Solid professional performance against the spirited newcomers who spent over $100 million. That felt odd too. Is this the shape of things to come?

Liverpool next week. Time to knock them off their perch methinks.

Big shout out to Jon and Rod for bringing the Austin Eagles into the social media age. And also to everyone who came down making it a fantastic day.

Also to the management team of B.D. Riley’s for having faith in our little club and giving us our own nest.

And lastly, we are officially better than Man City.

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Come on you Palace.

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Austin Eagles witness fox battering

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Austin Eagles witness fox battering

I never thought I was the kind of person to delight in animal cruelty. It has always seemed barbaric to me. However, watching 11 foxes get beaten to a pulp last Saturday turned out to be highly entertaining. Our brave boys in red and blue recorded their largest ever Premier League victory over the Leicester City foxes in a mesmerizing display of soccer skills.

Watch highlights of the 5-0 routing here.

http://www.goalsarena.org/en/video/england-barclays-premier-league/28-04-2018-crystal-palace-5-0-leicester-city.html

We are now 11th in the table of 20 with six points between us and the relegation zone. It would take a miracle for us not to be playing top tier soccer next season.

Once again, the Austin Eagles had a great turnout at BD Rileys with ten of us loving every second of the match. And as if the magic on the pitch wasn’t enough, our faithful AE pal Jon Morgan brought his shipment of “CPFC in the USA” flags which are just released to the masses.

Finally, our beloved club has been recognized by the pundits. Even they couldn’t ignore the 5-0 hammering. They have published their premier league team of the week and we have not one, not two, not three, but four players in it. Stunning.

https://www.bbc.com/sport/football/43941894

And the club just released a video of the goals of the season so we can vote on the best. Enjoy.

https://www.facebook.com/officialcpfc/videos/10156421875660762/

Oh yeah and we are above Brighton.

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Austin Eagles find new home

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Austin Eagles find new home

There’s hope my friends.

Just one week ago our faithful fan club were set adrift in a baron desert without a place to call home. With the closing of Fado bar in downtown Austin we were stranded unable to watch the games. Now, after days of flapping aimlessly between bars we may have found our place.

The kind folks at BD Rileys appreciate what our humble clan can offer and are happy to help. Last week we saw a thrilling 0-0 draw against Watford which saw our talisman Wilf Zaha robbed of a penalty and our beloved club edge ever closer to safety.

We are now 14th in the league with three teams and six points between us and the sinking swamp of relegation. With just 3 games to go we are nearly safe. However, as Palace fans, we know not to count our eagles before they hatch so we need to support until the bitter end.

The Mueller location of BD Rileys will once again host our game this Saturday at 9am against Leicester. A win for us against the former champions along with Stoke and Southampton losing will all but guarantee our survival.

Come along and cheer my friends.

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Austin Eagles batter Brighton on and off the pitch

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Austin Eagles batter Brighton on and off the pitch

3-2...we beat the Brighton 3-2, we beat the Brighton 3-2, we beat the Brighton 3-2.

This song has been cycling through my synapses since Saturday after going to the game and watching our beloved boys beat the scum. Oh so joyous.

And not only did I get to watch that but I also got to watch the Palace firm hammer the Brighton firm. As I sucked down a most enjoyable beer after the game in the nearest pub to the ground I saw a bundle of bodies rolling in a cloud of dust down the street outside. Fists were flying and blood was spurting. And of course, at the end of it all, Palace ended up on top. Now, of course I don't condone such hooliganism and violence. But it was bloody fun to watch. See below image for the aftermath.

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But of course, just like Palace, we had to make it hard for ourselves on the pitch. I don't think I have seen a more excruciatingly nerve racking game in my life. We held on by the skin of our teeth. Not because we aren't good enough to beat those dumb dumbs. But because getting three points at this crucial stage against our foe got to the players.

Thankfully they held out.

As if all of this wasn't enough but at half time as I stood in line for my curry pie I heard the name Woody ring out above the din. I turned to find fellow Austin Eagle James standing there clad in red and blue with a beaming smile on his face. He had also travelled back to England to watch the game. What a day.

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This win means we are now 6 points clear of relegation with 4 games to go. It would be surprising if we didn't stay in the premier league for next season. But then again, this is Palace.

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Austin Eagles score, win and best of all - make Chelsea look stupid

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Austin Eagles score, win and best of all - make Chelsea look stupid

Our plan worked perfectly. Break every record ever set by failing to score or get a point for a ridiculous eight games in a row. Draw worldwide media attention to how unbelievably shit we are. Make everyone wonder which team will be bad enough to finally let us score a goal. And then beat champions Chelsea 2-1 and make them look even worse than us. I can handle being the second worst team ever as long as Chelsea are the worst.

Saturday morning was glorious. There I was. Sitting at the back of my plumbing continuing education class. Paying zero attention to the drivel coming out of the teacher’s mouth. iPad showing the game on the table. Ear bud in my non visible ear. Trying desperately not to shout out loud as Palace scored their very first goal of the season. I just knew that the first goal would have to be a 40 belter into the top corner. And when the ball trickled into the goal after ricocheting off three player’s knees I remembered this was Palace I was supporting. But I didn’t care. We had scored. As thousands of Palace fans around the globe gasped a massive sigh of relief I heard the commentator aptly announce “Hold the back page, Crystal Palace have scored a goal.” Oh Palace. Of course we let Chelsea get a goal back ten minutes later but that was just so we could score another goal to really rub it in.

Now we just have to remember stage two of our plan. Keep scoring and winning games. For all our impotence, we are now only one point behind Bournemouth and five points from safety.

After the game I spent about two hours looking at various related posts and tweets to savor the win. My most enjoyable findings were from Chelsea fans pre and post game. I would like to share these with you. If you were not previously aware of the retardation level of Chelsea fans then this may help. I would give them a 9 out of 10. This is only because of Man U fans being a 10 and they are beyond compare (of course my buddy Gez is exempted from this - kinda). Feel free to reply to this blog with your calculated retard score.

Enjoy.

https://mobile.twitter.com/SpursInTheBlood/status/919300191236259840

https://youtu.be/a8BlSh2ph-c

And this from the official Chelsea twitter account https://mobile.twitter.com/ChelseaFC/status/919146089709801472/video/1

Oh and here are the extended highlights if you wanna enjoy it again.

http://footyroom.com/matches/79940578/crystal-palace-vs-chelsea/review

 

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Has anyone got a massive bag for the Austin Eagles?

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Has anyone got a massive bag for the Austin Eagles?

I watched a bird die once. I thought I could save it. But some things are too broken to fix.

I was 10 years old. The tiny starling had been hit by a car, breaking its left wing and both its legs. I found it flapping around in circles on our garage floor, scared to death. My dad and I took it to a vet who lived nearby. I thought we were going to give it little bandages and nurture it back to health. The vet took one look at the battered creature, stuck it in a bag and firmly whacked it against a wall killing it instantly. I was distraught, but it was on that day I realized that some things need to be put out of their misery. It is just to damn painful to watch them struggle.

If any of you have witnessed the last seven Crystal Palace league games than I think you know where I am going with this. We have lost every game without even scoring one solitary goal. No professional football team has EVER sucked this badly, fact. If I had a bag big enough to fit 11 manly dudes then I believe that vet might smash them against a wall. I am of course not condoning this course of action. All I am saying is that if there was a mercy killing formula then our Eagles might be in a spot of bother.

I haven’t watched a game for three weeks now. I can’t bring myself to do it. I know I am supposed to support through thick and thin but there is a limit to my thin. Especially if I can go see my daughters play instead and watch Wilma score the winning goal which actually happened.

On the bright side, imagine what will happen we that first goal goes in. Everyone is going to shit themselves, in a good way. We have 31 more games to go. Surely we have to score, right?

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Austin Eagles become Austin Owls

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Austin Eagles become Austin Owls

Four games into the season. Four games lost. No goals scored.

This is the first time since 1924 that a top flight team has achieved this. Yay Palace.

So what have we done about it? Of course we have sacked our brand new Dutch manager and hired a new one.

Palace are a bit of a laughing stock right now. Conveniently, that's just what we want. It's feel odd to be good, scoring goals and playing fancy football. I would much prefer to be the team that everyone writes off. However, this does mean that we have to rise back up again. And I actually do believe that our new manager Roy Hodgson is the man to do that. He should make them play how they want to and get results.

So in honor of our new manager we are going to change our name from the Austin Eagles to the Austin Owls. Why, you ask? Just take a look at this.

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Austin Eagles contract Bird Flu on season long loan

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Austin Eagles contract Bird Flu on season long loan

There is a sickness running rampart throughout the Premier League andour beloved Eagles have been stricken with it. The pressure to succeed in the World's most lucrative league is causing teams to lose touch with reality. Ludicrous transfer fees topping $200m are now the norm. And failure to produce no matter the situation is not tolerated.

As we all know, just two months ago soccer legend Frank De Boer was named Crystal Palace boss in a move many hoped would usher in a new phase in Eagles history. This change was to take us away from defense minded tactics and make footy at Selhurst Park free, flowing and glorious to watch. We would no longer have to struggle toward the end of each season, digging ourselves out of the hole we had gotten into. But, as any sane person can see, this change would not be quick. It would take time to adapt and alter the mentality or personnel. Frank told us not to expect immediate results and we listened and nodded. Now, we are three games in, three loses to our name and not even one single goal scored. And guess what's happening. Frank is facing the chop.

Palace's top brass had an emergency meeting this week to decide whether to axe Frank and go back to our old ways. I mean "what the fuck". Who the hell can change the entire workings of a 112 year old institution in a matter of weeks. They must be sick in the head to expect results so quick.

We all need to just take a deep breath, stop acting like spoilt brats and make sensible decisions. If we don't, the worst might just happen. We might become Manchester United.

Stay strong my Austin Eagles.

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Austin Eagles support the Crystal method

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Austin Eagles support the Crystal method

Is it just me or is watching Crystal Palace on NBC now a bit like smoking really manky Meth? It is just me? Huh. Ok. Well let me explain my thoughts.

A while back you considered trying Crystal but suspected it would mess with your family life. You do know a guy who supports this habit and to be honest he seems pretty normal. Each week this addict emails everyone he knows effusing about the ecstasy you get when you score. Little by little you see your pals succumb to this addiction ignoring their spouse's pleas to stop. You know you shouldn't join in and are thankful that you have just enough will power to say no. But along comes a greedy provider. Sneakily, it tempts you by offering Premier Crystal for free. They promise to deal you their wares whenever and wherever you want and never to charge you more than you already spend on entertainment. How can you say no? All your friends are doing it. What's the worst that can happen, right?

Two years later you are properly hooked on Crystal. It has all been so easy and so cheap. Any time you need it you can just pick up the phone and dial it up. You know it's ruling your life but those fleeting highs are oh so good. You love your provider. You are never left wanting. You brag to all those who can't access your amazing provider, even those from the land where your Crystal originates. You know that as long as things never change then life will be sweet. But then it happens. The provider hands you off to his evil counterpart who bends you over and does you up the Arsenal. The Crystal that you know and love is now expensive, hard to get and worst of all it's half as good as before. They know you're hooked and there is nothing you can do about it. You just take it like a sucker because what else are you going to do.

Footnote. NBC is now charging to watch English Premier League on its new channel NBC Gold. It costs $50 for the season. Of course all the headlining teams are still free on regular NBC but minnows like Crystal Palace have been cast aside. You can only stream the games which means you can't record those classic wins and watch them again and again.

Of course, I have already bought NBC Gold and will be stuffing my proverbial glass pipe as full as I can of this new, yet rather inferior Crystal. The show must go on.

Extra footnote. We lost 3-0 to new boys Huddersfield last weekend. Say no more.

Smoke it while you got it my friends.

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Austin Eagles ready to smoke the league

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Austin Eagles ready to smoke the league

Insomniacs often say that 3am is the worst hour. Too late to be awake from the night before and too early to get up. I hear what they say but don't agree. There is a worse hour. Demonic, it creeps up your body like Ash's dismembered hand in The Evil Dead. It sends chills down your spine and leaves you feeling naked and alone. Thankfully it only happens for three months a year. What is that time you say? 9am. Saturday. Summertime. When Crystal Palace aren't on the TV. I shudder at the very thought.

Gleefully, we don't have to worry about that now for another nine months as this weekend, yes, this weekend, our brave boys in red and blue are back. And this time they are really smoking. And by smoking not only do I mean that they look fitter and stronger than ever but they may actually all be smoking. A bevy of Dutch stars have been brought in and we all know what those crazy Nederlanders love. Thankfully, I am told by inside sources that Da Weed is not considered to be a performance enhancing drug so no need to worry there.

The summer break saw some crazy events for the Eagles. Our old manager Big Sam Allardyce who kept us up in the Premier League last year quit a week after the last game. A month of anxiety crept by until some heady news came our way. Holland and Barcelona superstar Frank De Boer became the new boss. In the days that followed he fully assessed the state of the club and canned anyone who he considered would clog up the works. He also brought with him a barge load of his tulip touting buddies to plug the gaping holes in our on field dyke.

Pre season matches have looked very promising and like me, I am sure your feathers are fluffing at prospect of nine more months of Austin Eagles events. Please join me at Fado this Saturday at 9am as we take on this years new whipping boys Huddersfield.

The future looks bright. The future looks orange. And red and blue.

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The Austin Eagles did it!

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The Austin Eagles did it!

We actually did it!

Crystal Palace FC will now officially be in the Premier League for another season.

The 4-0 routing of Hull City last Sunday morning confirmed that we will stay up and Hull be relegated to the division below. Games in this lower division are not televised here in the US which I hate to say would cause turmoil among the ranks of the Austin Eagles. We no longer need to fear this fate, now able to sit back and revel in our elevated status. This will be the fifth season in a row that we have stayed in the top flight, a feat we have not achieved in our extensive 112 year history.

Feel free to enjoy the highlights of the game below.

http://www.replayfoot.com/crystal-palace-vs-hull-city-14-05-2017/

I want to thank you all for your support over the last two and a half years since the Austin Eagles formation. The team couldn't have done it without you. It's true. I heard them say it.

I am sure all of you, including my loving and enduring wife Heather, will join me in looking forward to watching 38 more games next season clutching a pint of Guinness at Fado and shirking all family and work duties.

We have one more game to go this Sunday at 9am. It is the final game of the season and you'll never guess who we play. Yep. Those Manchester United scumbags once again. This time last year we had to watch them beat us in the FA Cup final. This year we shall be victorious. As we have nothing on the line to play for we can all just sit back and enjoy.

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Austin Eagles face their mortal enemy

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Austin Eagles face their mortal enemy

Every sports team has one. You know who they are. If you don't, then you should. It's pretty easy to work it out even if you don't. You hate them with a passion. Just the sound of their name makes you gag. Yeah you got it. It's your team's biggest rivals. And for Crystal Palace FC, that team is Brighton.

The hapless Seagulls have been our mortal enemy since the 1940s and eerily echoed our every move up and down the leagues through promotion and relegation. Their desperate stalking ended in 2012 following our meteoric rise to the Premier League and of course life-changing formation of the Austin Eagles. They have soured in the Championship (England's second division) ever since, hoping and praying to one day meet us again.

That time has now come my friends. Last week those coastal cretins succeeded in gaining promotion to the Premier League for next season. Their elevation had looked likely for months now as they were tearing it up in the lower league. And up until a few weeks ago this inevitability seemed more nauseating than ever as our beloved Eagles were balancing precariously on the edge of top tier relegation. Now, with our recent amazing run of form, we can all sit back and salivate at the prospect of playing these seaside spastics next year.

You may be wondering why I detest these monkeys so. It's not like we are in the same town like Liverpool and Everton. In fact, the two grounds are 45 miles apart which in English terms is the same as crossing Texas for Americans. The M23 motorway separates us, hence the rather uninspiring name given to our rivalry, the M23 derby. There have been much more suitable foes in London for us to hate like Charlton and (excuse me will I throw up a little in my mouth) Millwall. But Brighton just really got under our skins. They were like that piece of chewing gum that wouldn't leave your fingers, endlessly moving from hand to hand sticking to each digit as it went no matter how hard you tried to flick it off. Or maybe, to use a more pop cultured analogy, a toothless zombie endlessly mouthing at us in the vain hope of assimilating us into their brainless bunch. Wherever we went they followed. And, annoyingly, up until a few years ago, they matched us step for step. Our two teams have played each other a total of 98 times. Bizarrely we have both won 37 times each with the remaining 24 being draws.

The warring came to a head in my birth year of 1976. That season we both vied strongly for promotion from the lowly third division. An unbelievably large crowd of 33,000 saw Brighton sadly beat Palace on the south coast. It was at this game that those unimaginative buffoons became the Seagulls. As we chanted "Eagles" at them, they brainlessly mouthed "Seagulls" back. 'Cos it rhymes you see. Brilliant! They can't even come up with an original nickname by themselves. Maybe I shouldn't be so harsh on them. I hear it's not polite to insult retarded people.

Over the next thirty years we yo-yoed around with them amid matches with smoke bombs and endless 80s football violence. One highlight was during an FA cup game where Brighton was awarded a penalty in the last ten minutes of the game while we were up 1-0. They scored but the referee disallowed the goal as players had encroached the penalty area before the ball was kicked. On their second take our goalkeeper saved the ball. Ha ha ha. We won. After the game Brighton boss Alan Mullery stormed into the Palace changing room and throw a five pound note on the floor in front of all the players and screamed "your team is not worth that". Bad loser. He was fined 100 pounds for bringing the game into disrepute.

Many Palace fans would prefer to see Brighton languish in a division or two below us never having the chance for retribution. I however welcome their sad little club back to the top. I can't wait to see us destroy them. Needless to say I shall be going back home next year to be a frontline soldier in this titanic battle and, to bring back the zombie analogy, shall decapitate any such Seagulls that come my way.

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Austin Eagles dump on Arsenal for the first time in 37 years

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Austin Eagles dump on Arsenal for the first time in 37 years

Do any of you remember what you were doing in 1979? No? Well, I can tell you one thing that happened. We beat Arsenal F.C. at our stadium that year. It probably didn't feel like a momentous occasion at the time but little did we know that we wouldn't beat them again for 37 bloody years. We never beat Arsenal. They are bastards. And spoilt bastards at that. But guess what happened last night folks? Yep that's right, we beat 'em. And not only beat 'em. We whipped 'em. Of course, pundits are all focused on how disgraceful it is for Arsenal to lose like this. How the management need to be fired and players reprimanded. How this is maybe the lowest moment in their history. Errr, excuse me. What are we, chopped liver? Is it really that damn embarrassing to lose to the Eagles. Even in defeat those bastards can find a way to belittle us.

How about let's say that Crystal Palace are amazing and, as Donnie Darko so eloquently put it, all you other teams can go "suck a fuck".

My fellow feathered friends. This was an amazing day. We are now two wins above the relegation zone with only six to play. We have now won 5 of the last six games. It is generally agreed now that we will be spending yet another year in the Premier League next year. We play last year's champions Leicester this Saturday at 9am. Come on down to Fado and witness another miracle.

If you missed the action then feel free to see the amazing highlights below.

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The Austin Eagles are back...and slaying giants

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The Austin Eagles are back...and slaying giants

There is a common taunt among soccer fans from opposing clubs "you only sing when you're winning".It's meant to criticize their commitment to their team. Up until about four months ago I could honestly say this did not apply to me. Even during the darkest moments of Eagle love I stood firm and cheered my team. That was until the thoroughly depressing descent we experienced during the last months of our ex boss Alan Pardew. During one particularly difficult loss to Liverpool I found myself extremely angry and mad at everything for the entire weekend. I took it out on my wife and kids. Then I realized that maybe this soccer supporting isn't all it's cracked up to be. I told myself I would scale down my support and be nicer to my family. I probably saw three games in about two months.

Was it over for the Austin Eagles? I thought so. But guess what? We only went and started winning again. Now I realized that when we win I am even nicer than normal to my family so supporting Palace is all it's cracked up to be. It's brilliant. All Palace have to do is win four games in a row including last Saturday when we beat this season's nigh-certain premier league winners Chelsea away. It was beautiful. As long as we don't lose again then no problem, right? Maybe the other way is if I sing when we are winning and then put my fingers in my ears, shut my eyes and shout "la la la la la la la" when we lose. Either sounds better than giving up on my Austin Eagles.

I am attaching a couple of delightful news items after the Chelsea win. The first is from a Palace fan who filmed the crowd going nuts to the first goal and then catching the second goal a minute later. And yes, that is a flare. The second is an image of this week's combined premier league team of the week. You almost never see four players from the same team in it. Lovely jubbly.

https://mobile.twitter.com/Amanda_Hollidge/status/848207764979671040/video/1

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The official Crystal Palace Eagles fan club of Austin Texas